Finally!

OK, so it's been a while, so I figure I should get on this and update before I let it go for another week feeling guilty. We've kept ourselves fairly busy in the interim, so let's get straight into it. I thought you might like this little vid of Steven enjoying his little rocking horse.

We haven't really posted much of anything since Matthew's birth, but we have had quite a bit going on. One of the biggest was B's family gathering for her Mom's, um, well, her 32nd birthday! ;-) All 4 of her kids were there, their spouses and children, and a good selection of cousins and other relatives as well. They stayed the whole weekend and we had lots of good times to chat and play, and I was once again reminded of the many ways I am not really culturally an American (the story of how we collected honey from an in-use casket when I was a kid always gets such a weird reaction here!).

It really was a good time, and we managed to get our cameras out for the gathering, so I'll just walk you through the festivities bit by bit. First, though, a picture of Steven playing with his friend Noah at a recent visit to his house (well, his grandparents' house, but close enough).

The weather here has been as close to perfect as imaginable for the past few weeks, so we decided to take a family trip to a local park one day while everyone was here. Here, Katy (I hope I spelled that right) takes Steven down the slide. The slides here are a bit higher and it seemed to scare him at first, but after a while he liked it.

B's cousin Tara also had a baby recently - exactly 26 hours after Matthew, as it turned out, and here's a picture of her with baby Natalie at the park.

Matthew was also able to meet his great-grandmother for the first time, which was nice:

The nice weather continued the whole time everyone was here, and the kids really enjoyed their time outdoors. Here Steven enjoys a wagon ride with his two cousins, pulled by B's cousin's husband Wes.

One of the most interesting events of the weekend was the "Un-Talent Show." Each one of us arranged to do something, centered around the guest of honor, to display our lack of talents. Here, Janice's sister Patti pretended to be a boisterous and rather garish "character," who came bearing some lovely clothing for the birthday girl so she could be as stylish as she. I wish I could show you the video, but I've been sworn to a non-disclosure agreement on that particular part of the act.

Anyway, I don't have time or energy to get into the various acts, but had to include this picture of Wes rocking a pastel blue wool scarf. Work it, sir, if I may be so bold!

Of course, my (J's) family are here in town as well. It's been fun to see my parents interacting with their grandsons and refresh my memory of some things about my childhood I had forgotten. One of those things was my mother's creativity. She spotted a large box that no one was using, and turned it into a sort of fort for Steven, who loves it!

Since I haven't posted in so long, I'm trying to make up for lost time by making this an extra-long post. Hope it doesn't feel like just filler, but I know some of you will like this video. It's funny to see kid's develop and grow in their understanding of the world, but I don't think Steven totally understands what a chair is really for yet:

OK, so that should about do it. Tomorrow morning I'm heading out to the mountains for a camping/hiking trip with B's dad and sister. I'll try to take some photos of what promises to be a fun weekend for next post. For now, I'll leave you with a picture I like - Daddy just enjoying being around his new little boy.

Warning: Details Below (The B Perspective)

Note: This is for the more detailed-oriented audience who are interested in knowing more of what happened at the delivery of our son Matthew (by now I have probably lost about 90% of the male readers) from the perspective of the one who did all the work! Let me first say both Matthew and I are recovering well. Matthew is back up to his birth weight of 8 lbs 5 oz. My staples are out and I can actually walk around now but still am quite slow because of the pain. They say it I will have pain for another few weeks. Yea!

I also have to take more rest breaks during the day since Matthew seems to think nights are when you are suppose to eat most often (about every 2-3 hours at night compared to every 3-4 hours during the day). Anyway, we are adjusting well thanks to all the support and help given to us by our friends and family (thanks y'all).

Well, enough babbling about the present and let me take you back to April 28, 2008. I was scheduled to be induced that day as the doctor thought the baby might be around 9-10 lbs and didn't want him growing any bigger. Since I didn't mind being induced, we went ahead with the plan. We checked in around 5:30am and I started labor around 7:00am. At this point Matthew had not dropped yet into position to be ready for birth. The medicine they gave me (Pitocin) basically jumpstarts labor but it is hard to adjust it because it is different for every woman. As with Steven (I was given this same medication with Steven as well), they were having a hard time getting my contractions regular. Then about 1:30pm I decided to get an epidural (which turned out to be a blessing in disguise).

The labor was not bad but I had torn my groin muscles the previous night and it was very painful . Anyway, the labor continued and I felt great once the epidural kicked in. Then around 2:00pm the nurse came in a told us that the baby's heart rate didn't look so good. She tried to turn me into different positions which worked only briefly. They turned the Pitocin down to see if that helped. Although Matthew's heart rate was doing better my contractions had stopped so they tried again to start me on a low dose of Pitocin. However, as soon as the contractions started again, Matthew's heart rate started dropping. Not only this, he still had not dropped.

This went on for a few hours until the doctor came in around 5:00pm to check me (see above - a wonderful doctor; not a very formal sense of dress :). Although I was at 10 cm dilated Matthew was not dropping and was now showing signs of distress. He suggested that a C-section was looking more and more likely if Matthew's heart rate didn't improve. It was about 20 minutes later when the doctor and whole team came rushing in and told me I needed an emergency C-section as Matthew's heart rate was dangerously low and not coming back up. Within 10 minutes they had me in the OR prepping me for the surgery.

They did not put me all the way under but gave me enough drugs to make me feel like I was dreaming. As they were doing this J was putting on his garments. It turned out to be a good thing that I already had the epidural, since that sped the process up quite a bit. By the time J came into the room, they were already opening me up. A few minutes later Matthew came into this world screaming. They found two problems that were causing Matthew's heart rate to drop. The first was the cord was wrapped around his neck three times and was very tight. If he had dropped into the birth canal, he might have strangled to death. The second problem was that his head was turned in such a way that he would not fit into the birth canal (thankfully). Matthew checked out to be a very healthy baby.

Headed Home!

And so here we are, healthy and well. Thank you for all of your thoughts! We're actually adjusting to life with two kids OK, but it is a bigger adjustment than both of us thought, I think. So far we've had it fairly easy, since we took the first week after the delivery off from our lessons and just sort of recovered for a while. Now, however, we're getting back into our routine of classes and studying, which is proving a challenge with the new addition and with my limitations. We'll post more on our adventures with the two kids in the days to come, but I'll just leave you with a picture of the newcomer with his paternal grandmother.

Introducing ...

Matthew Alexander (Мэттью Александр)

Weight: 8 lbs. 5 oz. (3.78 kg.)

Length: 20.5 in. (52 cm.)

Born: 5:41 pm April 28th by emergency C-section (see below post for more info)

Hair: Blondish red

Eyes: Seem to be a very dark blue, almost purple. Steven's were a similar color when he was born, and are now more of an deep sky blue, so this could change.

In summary - healthy baby, healthy Mom, which is pretty much the important part. I'll let B post a more detailed report sometime in the near future, since I was accused by more than one female reader yesterday of leaving out "details." Since I know that I can never include enough of this essential ingredient to satisfy, I'll just leave it to her to take care of. :)

In the meantime, she's recovering fairly well and hasn't shown any complicated aftereffects from the surgery. Thanks again to all of you who thought about us during this time! A few more pics, for those interested:

Above: Proud papa, exhausted mama, and confused baby.
Below: Baby Matthew with his grandmothers

Steven meets his new little brother for the first time and seems to warm to him almost immediately:

Of course, you have to have at least one "Aaaaaaawwwww!" shot of a new baby, so here it is:

Thanks again for thinking of us! We give thanks for the amazing blessing He's given, so please rejoice with us.

Cometh the Hour, Cometh the ... Little Baby?

NOTE: Scroll down for updates at the bottom of the post as they occur! Current update: #6 - Matthew has arrived!

Well, the title might miss some of you, but I thought it was funny at least! With a resounding ding the oven timer has gone off, so this baby is fully prepared. In fact, if you asked B, she might say it was a little "overdone," having been ready to get the enormous lump off her poor bladder for a couple of weeks, but at any rate, we're finally here.

Anyway, it is that time. The MD got tired of waiting for the baby to show up on his own (due date is tomorrow), and so he wanted to go ahead and jumpstart things with some chemical assistance. Apparently, he thinks the baby is on the large side, which is bad news for B. Here we are, though, having left the house at about 5:30 this morning. It's now 6:30 as I type this, and they've just started the Pitocin drip, which should see the contractions get more regular as it kicks in. I'll follow with updates as we have more news.

How can you tell we're just getting started? B's still smiling! Ha, ha. No, seriously honey, it was a joke. You look wonderful. What's that? I'm not going to print things like that on the blog!! For the rest of you, rest assured that in reality, B is a sweet-tempered woman and would never do any of those hateful things to me. At least, not while she's strapped to a hospital bed and I'm across the room. If she managed to catch me, now that might be another story ... ;)

In this gratuitous Steven shot, he's practicing his "Welcome home, baby Matthew!" pose with his grandmother.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'll put updates below so that the three or four of you who are that interested can follow along.

UPDATE #1: 9:15 AM
MD has just been here, and reports that B is now 2-3 cm dilated, and the Pitocin is kicking in seriously. Poor B is having contractions almost on top of each other, and even though they aren't incredibly strong yet they're backing off the dosage just a bit. The main thing the MD did was to break B's water, which should speed things up as well.

In short, so far, so good! The only bad (?) news was the size of the baby, which he thought might be 9 lbs./3.9 kg plus! Thanks for all of you who are thinking of us, and I'll try to post another update around lunchtime.

UPDATE #2: 11:30 AM
B's been hanging out on the birthing ball for the past couple of hours, and has made some progress. Nurse just checked and reports that we're up to 5 cm, and the baby has dropped a bit deeper.

At any rate, B's back in bed, and I think she's leaning towards getting an epidural this time. One heroic delivery was enough for her, apparently. I'll check back in when we find out more about when that might happen.

UPDATE #3: 2:30 PM
So, not much has happened since last report. B did go ahead and get the epidural, since she was really struggling with the muscle pain from her groin tear (she did the splits last night. Accidentally.) We're still stuck at 5 cm, and the baby seems to be higher up than he should be.

All in all, things are still going OK, but they're starting to worry that the baby needs to move down the birth canal at some point. His heart rate keeps dipping between contractions, so he needs to get his act together and start heading for home!

Oh, and we're going to add a contest to this post as well (why skip the contest just because we're having a baby?): who knows the real conclusion to the quote in the title? "Cometh the hour, cometh the ..." First person to post the correct answer in the comments section wins the point.

UPDATE #4: 5:15 PM
OK, so we're finally making some progress. After a long afternoon, B is finally at 9 cm and we're about to start pushing!

During the afternoon, the medical folks had a toughish time getting the Pitocin dosage lined up right, and either the contractions would fade or Matthew's heart rate would drop. Long story short, eventually B got to 9 and now the MD thinks we might get it done still.

UPDATE #5: 5:23 PM
Scratch that. After a few pushes, Matthew's heart rate is falling too fast for being as far in as he still is. MD thinks the baby is quite big, so we're headed for the OR to do a C-section.

UPDATE #6: 7:00 PM
Matthew is here! After an extremely quick C-section, prompted by the MD's perception that the baby was in trouble due to a dropping heart rate, he has arrived!

I was impressed by how fast they move when they think the baby is in trouble. From the time the decision was made to do a C-section, around 5:23, to the birth was less than 20 minutes.

Anyway, I suited up and scurried in just in time to see them slice B wide open. Within seconds, they plucked Matthew out, crying from the second he came out. He had apparently gotten his head slightly crooked, and wrapped the cord around his neck, which was what made his heart rate drop with each contraction. Thankfully, all went well, and both Mom and baby are safe and sound. More details on this whole thing at a later point.

Currently, B is trying to recover, feeling quite woozy and a bit nauseated. Matthew's in the nursery, where they're making sure everything's OK with him. Everything seems to be normal, and he weighed 8 lbs 5 oz/3.78 kg at birth. Length was 20.5 inches, I think, although I have yet to confirm that one. At any rate, I'll put some more pics and details on here when I get them.

As with most newborns, they're not that cute in the first few minutes of life, but here his head has started to return to a normal-looking shape and he's getting pink. I'll definitely get some more pictures when he gets to the room and we can get some more.

You can't see much of him here, but this is Mom, still with belly in twain, Dad, and little Matthew, curled up in a ball. Thanks for everyone who thought of us during this time, and please continue to remember B in her recovery!

Fun in the Sun

An apology to all of our faithful readers, but J put the responsibility on me to do this blog and since I procrastinate in everything else I couldn't disappoint in this assignment. But here I am with nothing to write about.

We have now been in the US for about two weeks. We're still doing our Russian lessons via Skype (an internet videoconference program) with our teacher in Moscow which works most of the time. However, our commitment to doing full-time Russian study is difficult to maintain here. I (B) usually can do about 1-2 hours in the morning but by the afternoon usually will need a nice long nap.

Our evenings are usually booked with dinners or just hanging out with friends which has been very nice. I can't do too much anymore since I feel like I'm carrying around an elephant but we have been able to do several things we have missed doing while in Moscow. The biggest new thing for me has been going to yard sales:

For our non-American readers, this is where a person collects all the unwanted items in their house, places them in their yard, and tries to sell them. The prices can range from 10 cents to $20. I love buying things there because everything is so cheap but you usually have to drive around to find them which can take some time. Since I enjoy it so much I don't mind.

The other thing we have been catching up on is eating our favorite foods. We have been to several restaurants stacking on the weight in order to stay warm for the next winter (yeah, I don't really believe it either but it sounds good). For those of you who know me (B), knows how much I love to eat. Unfortunately, I can't eat much these days since my stomach is the size of a pea. So watch out Cracker Barrel, Bojangles, and Fiesta Mexicana - once I have this baby I coming to clean you out!

My family met at one of my favorite restaurants, Cracker Barrel, soon after we got here. Not only do I love the food but the atmosphere is fun and unique. They have a lot of antiques (American country-style stuff) hanging on the walls and a country store with all kinds of goodies in the front of the restaurant. Here are some pictures from that night:

We have also been enjoying some beautiful weather. When we first got here everyone commented on how yellow we looked. Since then we have been trying to get outside as much as possible. The scenery is so beautiful here. After living in an apartment and not being around a lot of nature, I have to say that it's easier on the eyes.

Well, that is about it. Hopefully the next post will include our new baby. I have 1 1/2 more weeks to go. We will keep you updated. Here's a little video of Steven enjoying some of the sunshine and warmth in a local park to leave you with:

OK, so this is J, and I'm adding a What Is It™, but with the caveat that anyone from the southern US is not eligible. The below picture is one of the foods B mentioned earlier in the post, and if you're not from the south, you might not know what it is. If you can guess the name of this vegetable, and you are from somewhere north of the Mason-Dixon line or outside the US, enter your guess in the comments. For you Southerners, you'll have to just comment about something else, or I won't publish your comments!

Для наших дорогих русских читателей, мы приглашаем вас также угадать, чем называют этот овощ. Напишите ваши догадки в секции комментариев. Я надеюсь, что я написал этому правильно, чтобы наша учительница не рассердилась на меня! :)

Oo-ohh Say Can You See, aa-aa Wand'ring Family?

Yep - we're back in the US, having returned to have the baby. It's funny how many people have asked us how it feels to be "home" without realizing that this isn't really our home any more. I suppose you could say we're not really at home anywhere on earth :) but, insomuch as we have a home on earth, it's back in Moscow now.

That said, it is good to be here! We've had a week now to de-jet lag ourselves, and now all of us, inlcuding Steven, are back on our regular schedules. For Bobbie and I, that means doing our Russian lessons via Skype (an internet videoconferencing program). Every morning, both of us have a separate two-hour class with our teacher just as if we were there, and so far it's working well. Hopefully we'll be able to find some language helpers here soon and continue to make progress in the language. Just because we're a long ways away doesn't mean we have to give up studying!

Anyway, I thought you might enjoy a few pictures and videos of our time here so far, so here goes. First up, we have a shot of the beginning of our journey, when both B and Steven were in good spirits. Then we started going through security checkpoints - a lot of them!

To fly out of Moscow, you first get scanned (all baggage, plus you get patted down) as you walk through the airport door. Then, you go through outgoing customs and your bags are checked again. Then, another X-ray scan of your baggage, then a guard opens your carry-on luggage for a hand inspection. At this point, you finally go get your boarding passes and check your big bags, and here we had some complications with Steven's ticket. After some confusion and an additional $360, we were through, and only had one more scan of our baggage, another patdown for weapons and we were through!

Then, a mere 14 hours later, and much struggling with a baby boy not accustomed to sitting in one place for that long, we were here! Here Steven has finally fallen asleep, and I'm enjoying a rare moment of peace on the plane.

Since we've gotten back, we've been enjoying the wonderful spring weather. When we left it was in the single digits and there was still snow on the ground, and here it's warm and everything's green! It's really wonderful.

Of course, Grandpa and Grandma Williams have also been enjoying their grandson, and here Steven's going for a ride with Grandpa in the wheelbarrow:

I'm trying to include more videos, since everyone tells us they love them, so here's a clip of Grandpa tickling Steven, always one of his favorite activities.

Steven likes this kind of flight a lot better than the kind in actual airplanes!

Of course, he's had a chance to make some new friends as well in the last week. Our friends Mike and Martha have a baby boy named Noah who's almost exactly the same age as Steven. We took him over there one night and they "enjoyed" a bath together. Frankly, I think this was more a stunt for the moms to laugh at them, not to mention take some pictures that might come back to haunt them in high school. :)

Anyway, Steven hasn't had a lot of time in his life to hang out with animals, since neither us nor any of our friends have any back in Moscow. Here he explores the world of cats at Noah's house. This cat's name is Arnie, and Steven seems to like him:

Anyway, that should do it for this installment. Sorry we've been late getting it up, but we've been spending all our time getting our language classes back up and running, not the mention hanging out with family and friends.

Oh, and I should pass along one piece of news, which some of you might find humorous. If you're recall, in our last post we mentioned that some of our friends had bought us a lovely snowsuit for our expected new delivery. Since I was so confident in our doctor's diagnosis on an early ultrasound that we were expecting "Nicole," I foolishly joked that the pink snowsuit might be "gay-looking" if it turned out to be a boy.

In a strange twist of fate, in our doctor's visit on Tuesday to make sure everything was OK with B and the baby, we found out that we are indeed expecting a boy! We've been calling him "Nicole" for so long, it's going to be tricky to think of a boy's name now. Anyway, thanks to all of you who have laughed at me for that remark! :)

With regards to the What Is It?™, KarenG gets the point. The blue plastic thing is indeed a shoe cover, something you are required to put on when you go to the doctor's office in Russia. It makes sense, since in a home you always take your shoes off at the door, and you can't really do that in an office. However, you need something to keep everyone from tracking snow everywhere, so they solve the problem with the shoe covers.

Up, Up, and Away!

Let's hope Bill Gates doesn't make flight control software! :) (Might have to click on that one to read it)

Indeed, the Wandering Family is about to wander its way back across the Atlantic in a few days. It's sad to leave our home here, but we know we'll be back soon, so it's only a temporary separation. And, of course, we'll get to see a lot of you, which is always good. We weren't sure how to get Steven ready for the flight, so I decided to whip him around a bit so he could get used to "flying." He seems to enjoy it, so now we'll see how he does on the actual flight.

So, what have we been up to since our last post? Lots, honestly. We've been busier than usual with getting together with people anyway, and add to that the last-minute must-do's that always accumulate before a long voyage and you have a recipe for tired people!

Not all of it has been hard work, however. Last weekend, the SuperMom group that B attends held a baby shower in her honor! Actually, it was for her and one other lady, but since she didn't show up, it ended up being all about B. Of course, they had the regular teaching and fellowship, but there was a special section where B was the focal point.

I generally try to avoid the SuperMom meetings since they're geared for, well, moms, especially after my first time in attendance ended with a discussion on female health that made me glad I don't speak more Russian than I actually do! However, since there was a party planned, I was especially asked to attend, and once I got there I realized why: so they could humiliate me! We played a game where the father of the baby has to dress and "accessorize" a baby doll blindfolded. You can see the results below; somehow I think we might need to put B in charge of hairstyles. At least they got to laugh, I guess.

Next up was a game in which the various party attenders tried to guess how big B's tummy is. They all took a good look at her, pulled some yarn off a spool, and cut off the amount they thought would just go around the biggest part of the belly. Then, when everyone had done one, I helped B to get an actual measurement, and we then compared our "master" yarn to everyone else's piece. One lady actually managed to eyeball the length to within a centimeter, which I thought was either very lucky or very skilled.

Of course, you can't have a baby shower without some stuff, and they really did give us some wonderful things. Here B shows off Nicole's snowsuit for next year. As for me, I'm just hoping the doctors were right about it being a girl, because if it turns out to be a boy, that is going to be one gay-looking snowsuit! :)

Aside from partying hard, I (J) have also been pursuing getting a medical "spravka" as part of my application for a work permit for the visa we need to get while we're in the US. This might sound like a simple process, but that's only if you have never lived in Russia.

I'll try not to bore you with the details, since I don't have any pictures (it might be considered sliiiightly rude to walk around a doctor's waiting room snapping pictures of all the despondent patients!), but it's an interesting story, so bear with me.

About a week ago, we find out that one of the things necessary for our application is a medical certificate saying that I'm healthy enough to work here. Seems to make sense, so off I (with trusty Larisa, our secretary/translator/general "knows-what's-to-be-done" person) go to the clinic to see what needs to be done. One problem: there is no clinic. They have moved since whenever they gave out their address, so no dice. Not to be deterred, Larisa offers an alternate address and we set off to see about that as an option. Of course, this is all on foot, since we don't own a car and the metro doesn't run that direction.

When we eventually arrived at the second clinic, they advised us that they don't do that particular test, but that a clinic near where we started does, so we head back. We track down that clinic, but are told at the first entrance that "we can't help you." Upon further questioning, it's revealed that they actually can help us, but it's a different department (of the same clinic!) and they eventually point us two doors down. I was trying to imagine working in, say, the toy department at Wal-mart and having a customer ask where the basketballs are, only to reply "We can't help you" since they're over in sporting goods. I don't think it would go over well.

Hopes are dashed at the other department, though, as they explain that they do a different kind of test for foreign work permits, not the one we need, though the lady helpfully points us across the street to the Infectious Diseases Hospital, which is where we need to go (allegedly). An hour later, after wandering around some streets in the vicinity of where she had pointed, we find out that the hospital we're looking for is right across the street from the metro station we originally came from. We go there only to find that they can't help us since we're not registered in their particular area, despite the fact that they're obviously the closest hospital of the kind we need to our address. Oh, and they won't tell us where we actually should go, referring us to a helpful list on the wall that lists, ... them as the assigned hospital for our area.

At this point, we decide to give up for the day - End of Day 1. Information gained: we now know the right kind of hospital to go to, and are armed with a list of phone numbers of the various Infectious Diseases Hospitals all over the city. Time spent: approximately 4 hours.

Seriously, I could go on, and on, and on like this, but you would eventually stop reading. In fact, I'm lucky if you're still reading at this point, and we're only on Day 1. I hate to give away the ending of the saga, but some of you who are going to skip it anyway. It took us 5 similar days, but we did eventually walk away with what for me is a Holy Grail of sorts - my medical spravka! I picked it up this afternoon, so we're very grateful that we were able to get that all done before we left. Now I can leave it with our fearless leaders to actually translate into a work permit that will allow us to be here for the next year.

If you've totally bored yourself on spravka-talk, feel free to skip a few paragraphs, but I think I would be remiss to completely neglect the actual clinic that eventually did the test, so I'll give you a brief flavor at least. Trust me, there are many more details that I'm compressing so you're not shaking your heads any more than you are now.

When we arrived there, mass chaos reigned. Lines snaked everywhere, none of which seemed to move at any point, and no one seemed to know which one we should be in. We eventually picked the one closest to the entrance, which turned out to be a good decision. When we reached the front of the line, I paid for the tests and was given a sheet of paper with a list of rooms to go to. In front of each room was, you guessed it, another line! I managed to get into several of them at once and sat down to wait my turn.

My favorite was the interview with the psychologist, who, when I advised him that I don't speak Russian fluently, proceeded to stare blankly at the wall for 30 seconds. Just when I was starting to wonder how a "sane" person would respond to such behavior, he asked how to spell my name. I told him, and he almost dolefully wrote it down, together with an annotation that I appeared to be in good mental health. I feel very reassured.

My least favorite test was in "Room 7," into which I went with no idea what to expect. A young lady told me to have a seat and take off my coat. It went downhill from there. This is a family-friendly blog, so I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say I apparently don't have syphilis! The problematic part was answering her questions, since somehow my anatomical vocabulary hasn't extended past "elbow" and "throat" into that tricky area required to respond to syphilis-related questions yet.

Anyway, after many hours of waiting in various lines and being checked for disorders, I eventually got a paper saying that I was done and could come back in a few days when the bloodwork was back for the results. Today turned out to be the day that it was ready, so after a long metro ride, there I was expecting to just show up and get everything handed to me.

Of course, it could never be so easy! I was advised that I had neglected to get the required chest X-ray. To which I replied, through slightly strained teeth, "What chest X-ray?" feeling a bit like this guy quoting the Wedding Singer. Not to worry, I was told, merely go across town to another clinic, wait in line again, get your chest X-rayed, and bring the results back and you can have your spravka. Of course, there were a few more bumps along the way, but I'm very grateful to have this piece of paper in hand now. Thanks to all of you who thought of me along the way; I really appreciated it. I can say with absolute certainty that someone is trying to teach me patience. It's certainly something that, culturally, Russians excel at for the most part, and something I'm trying to catch up to them on.

Anyway, that should about do it. We've had some other things going on (be thinking about a guy named L, not a family member, who we had over the other day; I was able to talk to him about some of those issues in detail) but for the most part are just getting ready to head out on our trip. Our apartment is still a mess, so we've got to get it ready for some of our friends who will be watching it while we're gone, and of course we still have to pack. Fortunately it's just a short trip back this time, and we don't have to pack the kitchen sink.

Well, we haven't had a What Is It?™ in a while, but this week something lent itself to the idea rather well, I thought. This item, easily recognizable to anyone who has spent any time in Russia, forms a critical part of getting a medical certificate of ability to work. Can you figure out what it might be and/or what it's used for?

If so, answer in the comments section and, as always, the point goes to the first person to comment with the correct answer. We've already purchased the prize for the winning commenter, and, since we haven't yet tallied the points, this could be your last chance to get your name on the scoresheet!

That's all we got. We're looking forward to seeing many of you in just a few short days!