Image Management

So, our life is pretty much the same (language study, evenings with friends, taking care of kids, etc.), so I thought I would post some of my musings instead. I know, I know, you want to hear about how cute Matthew looks when he sleeps, but too bad!

Actually, it was a recent blog of our friend Lydia's that got my mind meandering down the path it's been on (and Lydia, I'm just crediting you since you prompted the initial thought - I know you didn't have anything like this happen). She was talking about how she had done something that embarrassed her; not that it was anything important or hurt anyone, it was just something that she did that made her look bad in front of other people.

Well, that set me to pondering. I've since developed a nascent theory about this, especially as it relates to the internet. Years from now, when I'm receiving my Nobel prize for this sociological development, you'll be able to say "I read the blog post which first elucidated this theory years ago!" Then all the people within earshot will beat you up, because that's what should be done to people who say things like that. I mean, really!

What, you don't think I'm smart enough to win it? Why not? Al Gore won it! Al freaking Gore!

Enough scolding, though. My theory is about how the internet makes traditional "image management" almost impossible. You see, in "real life," that is, life outside the confines of the internet, it's quite easy to be multiple things to multiple people. Around your boss, you do your best to cultivate the image of a responsible worker, diligently applying yourself for the good of the company. Around your parents' friends, you try your best to come across as respectful and ambitious, just the kind of person you know would make your parents proud. And then, of course, around your friends you try to be the gregarious fun-loving life of the party so that they'll all want to be more like you.

You could make that list last forever, because I think if we're honest with ourselves we all want pretty much everyone who comes into contact with us think that we're "better," however that applies to that particular person, than we really are.

And here is where the internet enters to spoil all of our well-laid plans. You see, when you post something on your blog or twitter or facebook or whatever it's not really possible for different people to see different versions. Maybe someday you'll be able to put something up on the web and tell it to "edit out the bit about the poker game when my grandmother reads it" and it'll know what to do. However, at this point in time, it's a real headache to do things like set permissions for certain people to have certain access, etc., so most of us end up not doing it.

You're not going to want your grandmother, friends, or even your dog to see this picture.

We've all had that situation, though, where we realized that someone wasn't who they appeared to be, at least not who they appeared to be to you. You know, like that girl in your group who sings special numbers on Sunday from the hymnal and has been homeschooled for the past 10 years. You think of her as a perfect little angel, and suspect that she only ventures out of the house to bring cookies to the people at the retirement home. Then, one day you venture onto her Facebook page and it's full of comments like "Whassup cracka! Yo we go'n roll tonight!" from friends you've never heard of with screen names like HottieMcTail92. It's like an alien life form has shown up to possess your friend.

This is not your friend. Probably.

Alas, the bubble is burst. You realize that, no matter what this person says or does, you'll never quite look at them the same again. That uptight textile management professor that you always thought was "quirky" is suddenly revealed to be a closet anarchist who supports ecoterrorism. It can be very disconcerting.

Dr. Bradford? Is that you?

So, what is the solution for those of us who blog? Barring a complex web of deception where we only give out the page to our computer-hacking blog to our geek friends and maintain the butterfly-collection blog for our extended family to see, we're forced to go with the J solution: writing for the MCD. That's right, the Most Conservative Denominator.

Let's face it, if our friends read our blog and they think it's a little lame, not much harm is done. However, if your rich teetotaller uncle reads your pineapple upside down cake recipe and realizes there's rum in it, he might just write you out of the will! Much more damage can be caused by going too risqué than playing it safe.

As an example, we have friends with a whole range of taste in movies. Some of them are more liberal in what they'll watch than we will. Some are more conservative. That's totally OK. However, watch what happens when I post, say, the "Holy Hand Grenade" from Monty Python:



See, there's a perfect example. Now, I think that is one of the more hilarious things ever captured on film. I see it as a parody of medieval religiosity, not an assault on faith. However, according to the rule of MCD things like this should never be posted, since I'm sure I have friends who would be offended by it.

Wait, I've just violated my own rule in order to give an example. Oh, bother. Here, take a look at this puppy. That should take away all your anger. ;-)